Is there such a thing as "never too late"???

So, I was forced to re-evaluate my prime mechanisms of function these days. I was challenged by my wise instructor to plan better for my full schedule of events, which is absolutely true. Without people like this in my life, I doubt I would know that others notice my flaws. Yes, I have flaws. I've always readily admitted that. But when one becomes as highly organized as I have, it is hard to admit that I, too, am capable of "overbooking" myself or mishandling situations and schedules.

The type of person I am... I strive to build a good reputation among my peers and my superiors. It is not unlike me to put aside personal struggles in an effort to portray myself in a better light. While each of us do this to some extent, it seems that I have failed to plan for the unexpected interruptions that many others encounter daily. For example, we all get behind cars that drive far slower than we wish they would, traffic accidents that back up the lanes for hours, and have children that are unpredictable, capable of pulling out their unruly tactics at any point in time to inconvenience us and throw us off our schedule. Why, then, have I not learned how to plan better for these mishaps??

I have always had a tendency to run late for things... always... but as I have grown older, I learned that the more I continue this trend, the more anxiety I have. I get stressed out when I am running late for an important meeting or class because it is not favorable at all for me to actually show up late and jeopardize not only my reputation, but my career or education. To prevent these from happening, I have made it a point to get organized the night before a big meeting, get up earlier the day of the meeting, make sure that I have known interferences taken care of beforehand, leave early to provide for any problems during travel... and still I have issues with this. It seems to me that the more I prepare, the more problems I have... the earlier I get up, the later I'm leaving... the more I study, the worse my exam grade is... things like this cause me to evaluate WHY it is that my preparation has been all for naught.

I could postulate that somewhere in our vast universe, is a dark power laboring against me that wishes for me to fail. I could say that it's the work of the Devil trying to thwart my goals to do well for myself. But I think the real issues are not unseen: anxiety is a very real and present danger! For people suffering from anxiety and depression, we self-implode upon the slightest disappointment. It is utterly important for me to fulfill my goals, including all of the tasks on my schedule, in a timely manner... because the repercussions of not doing so is that I will dwell on it continually throughout the day and become so overwhelmed by anxiety that I am no longer able to carry out the list of tasks to be done. When my day starts out on the wrong foot, my whole day is shot. It is utterly important to begin the day with a good attitude. Therefore, I have decided that it is absolutely necessary for me to not only get up when the alarm goes off the first time, but to also read inspiring documents to motivate myself to continue keeping up with self-assigned tasks. I thrive on accomplishments! Therefore, accomplishing my daily goals is going to be the #1 impetus for me to feel successful. Additionally, it is the #1 tool of self-destruction if I do not accomplish these daily goals. Onward march!!