This issue of Transference!

While I know that Wikipedia is not exactly reliable, it does proffer a meager representation of Freud's theoretical perspective on transference. Here is the link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transference

I do want to divulge why this is an interest of mine currently.

When transference takes place, we are usually not conscious of it. We meet a new person that coincidentally resembles our friends in some way, be it physical or non-physical, and inadvertently we place too much trust in them. The result CAN be positive, but the occurrence of transference is not exactly a positive happening.

First of all, it can be quite risky to entrust a person who has not yet been evaluated as trustworthy. How do we evaluate people as trustworthy or not? Is it possible that our own judgment is intrinsically flawed and biased? How we are socialized will definitely play a large role in our perceptions of other people, but especially those that resemble people from our past.

Secondly, it is not only risky to trust someone who is not exactly trustworthy... it is illogical. Consider this analogy: you arrive at an upscale charity event, hosted by a resort. You drive up to the eave and a man steps out near your vehicle. You assume that he is a valet employee, because he is motioning to you to get out of your vehicle. You step out of the car and he hands you a slip of paper. You attend the charity event and return to the parking lot, hours later, to retrieve your car. There are no valet attendants in sight. You reach into your pocket and pull out the slip of paper to discover that it was merely a gum wrapper the man handed you as he entered your car. Your car has been stolen. We could not reasonably blame you, the victim in this case - the car owner, because you put your trust in someone that was seemingly a trustworthy person. However, can we punish the thief for taking something that was given to him? This can cause quite an emotional dilemma.

When we trust people, we are placing our own lives into their hands. Most people commonly attach emotions with the gesture of trust. This can be dangerous. Trusting another person to control your emotions is unhealthy. As humans, we all have flaws and have perceptions of reality that vary greatly from that of others. As children of God, we can choose to entrust our emotions only to Him, which is the safest bet for emotional security.

When we seek our security in things and/or people other than ourselves, we find too often that others are not what we expected them to be. People will disappoint you.

When you attach positive OR negative emotions to a person subconsciously because of who they resemble from your past - even if it is a newer version of the SAME EXACT PERSON - we are putting ourselves in danger of great disappointment. People change and change can happen fast. People do not always change in the ways in which we want them to change. Also, people may not change in the ways we perceive them to change or the ways in which they testify that they have changed. Sometimes, even if it seems to be true, people do not change for the better.

Over time, the REAL image of who a person is can fade into something unrecognizable or blossom into something wonderful. The challenge is that nobody can determine the changes that will occur for themselves over time, let alone the changes that will happen inside of another person. For this reason, it is unsafe to place your emotional well-being in the hands of any other human.

In the case of transference, people do tend to attach negative emotions to those that resemble people from their past in which their experiences were not always great. The important factor is to remember that vivid elaborations of past events are memorable for one primary reason: they had great impact. The impact attached may be positive or negative. Fact is, most vivid memories were traumatic in some way, shape, or form to the person remembering them.

Nostalgia can be powerful. In light of Freud's studies about psychoanalytics and the human thought-life, it is reasonable to see how humans can so easily attach positive emotions with people resembling our closest friends from the past or negative emotions with people resembling arch enemies and abusers from the past.

Consider this: an adolescent female is raped by a neighbor. The neighbor is indicted and incarcerated for 10 years. The female, now a young adult, enters her senior year of college and meets a fellow classmate that eerily resembles her rapist. She cannot seem to explain her negative emotions toward him. However, she notices that regardless of his behaviors, words, and attitudes, she finds him repulsive and despicable. This is a common case of transference.

Although I did not exactly give a professional breakdown of the why and how of transference, I believe it is strongly advisable to make one's self aware of such possibilities. When you find yourself feeling prejudiced toward or against someone new, ask yourself, "am I transferring harbored emotions toward them that were generated by my interactions with someone else?" And when you find yourself feeling prejudiced toward someone from your past that is re-entering your life, ask yourself, "am I holding something from the past against them OR am I trusting them too much because I think I know them?"

Be it positive or negative, transference is a common quandary and a likely cause of many bad relationships, hasty marriages, violent crimes, broken families, and so much more...

Transference is not exactly preventable, but it is manageable. Become more self aware!