The Impact of Bullying

I started writing this post in 2013 and never finished it because I felt it was too personal. But I promised myself I'd be real with my readers. So, here it goes...

I'm almost 40 years old and I find myself daily recalling traumatic events that happened in my childhood. One in particular is that I was ridiculed, ostracized, and humiliated at school. I can remember one particular individual who made my life at school very fearful but there is no denying that, being different from my peers and it being public knowledge that there were problems at home, it greatly affected my elementary school experience.

I remember feeling like I had no friends, despite my attempts to get close to people. I always felt lonely and even when I was included, it was only so that I could be mimicked and made fun of.

It's not as simple as "letting it go" or "moving on." The effects of bullying are devastating and often lead to a lifetime struggle with self-identity and contributes to a negative self-image. It is only recently that schools are taking bullying more seriously. And even then, the "zero tolerance" policies at school are often not enforced. Instead, they blame the victim.

While I am saddened about the prevalence of bullying and I feel like I personally will never fix the damage that was done... I tell myself that I AM LOVED and I AM NOT UNWORTHY. I AM NOT A LOSER or a FAILURE. Sometimes, you have to speak love to yourself because if you don't, you will never dig your way out of that hole the bullies put you in.

I want to encourage you to listen to this song by Mandisa. I do not own the copyright to this music, I am sharing the video in hopes that it will lift someone's spirits.